Sunday, May 24, 2015

7 Reasons why a nice guy can hurt your feelings


I have always considered myself to be a nice guy. *wink* Hey this isn't a complimentary statement, it's a fact. It feels nice to be nice. We all like nice people, don't we? But sometimes even nice people can hurt your feelings. In as much as I try to be nice, I still end up hurting the feelings of those I care so much about. I believe I'm not alone at this. My point is, being nice does't necessarily make you perfect. Sometimes we end up
stepping on toes we were trying to avoid. It just happen! Your nice boyfriend may still hurt your feelings, and here are seven reasons why I think he can:

He can say things without thinking
This can happen to anyone. I have found myself saying things that I later regret. Have you ever heard someone say this to you, "I'm sorry I din't mean to say that" The thing is, they might just be telling the truth. We've all at some point say things we wish we could take back, and if you haven't, you must be an introvert I suppose. So you see this can happen to anyone, even nice guys.

He don't know your triggers
You see, people can hurt us without even realising what they had done. You may sometimes have a mood swing, and what you are usually cool with might just be offensive at that moment. This could make a nice guy to innocently hurt you if he miss read your predominant emotion.

He may have other things on his mind
His mind might be occupied with  a lot of things and it may prevent him from giving you the attention you think you deserve. That wouldn't be the best time to want to discuss important issues with him, because you might end up getting hurt.

He may not always know what kind of feedback you want
This has happened to me on two or more occasions. A girl once asked for my opinion on a new dress she bought. Fact is, the design sucks, but I told her it was nice because I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but guess what? I did just that. On another occasion, she asked for my opinion about her hairstyle. Fact is, it was awful and I told her so, but that didn't really end well. What I'm I suppose to do?

You could be a victim of a transferred aggression
He may have had a really bad day at the office, or family house and you just happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. He needs to vent, and you avail yourself for that. I might call this a temporal mental snap, and it could also happen to a nice guy.

You took him for granted
He may be a nice guy, but he is no fool. If you keep taking advantage of his being too nice, you might one day receive the shock of your life. Don't ever assume that a nice guy can't hurt your feeling, because assumption may be fatal.

You let him hurt you
You know the saying is true that no one can hurt you without your consent. You are the gateway to your own happiness. If he hurts you it's because you let him to. Whether you want to be hurt or not is your own choice.

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