DESPERATE AND FUNNY THINGS WE DO IN THE NAME OF SEARCHING FOR JOB IN NIGERIA
There are some desperate acts we engage ourselves in the course of searching for job in Nigeria, some of these acts are very funny, and death defying in nature. The fact is, through these means some had gotten their dream jobs and achieved their goals while some, in the process met their untimely death and some spent little or the rest of their lives behind bars. But the truth of the matter is, some are very rare means.
MULTIPLE DATE OF BIRTHS- : if you are privileged to see where some people kept their different birth certificates with different dates on them you will think maybe there is always a certificate each time they talk to pastors that they are “born again”. Different birth certificates with different date of births.
REASON FOR THIS: after the hurdles of WAEC/NECO, then UTME, here comes the almighty POST UTME, after these ones, the real challenge faces you. Four years is no more four again. No thanks to ASSU, SSANIP, SSANU etc. strikes .At the end of NYSC you are 28 years old. Then you see job advert requesting for 25 five years old! What do you do? you quickly get one BC that says so. The following week another says 24! You rushed down to your costumer once again. Within a year you have gotten 5 BC. After many years you are not even sure of the real one and authentic birth certificate.. lol
POSSESSION OF MULTIPLE STATES OF ORIGINS AND LOCAL GOVERNMENT CERTIFICATES –
When you see a Yoruba guy holding Mubi North local government certificate of origin and looking further to see more than 15 local governments certificates of origin from different parts of the country with them, you wonder if they are multi related in family linage. That is why in some local government’s secretariat they will screen you to your family house ancestors and do a little language test before you can be giving local government attestation.
REASON FOR THIS: No thanks to high rate of unemployment in the country which has forced state governments to give job to only their indigenes first, irrespective of your qualification, experience , grade and competence. if you Dont present your local government attestation you are most likely not to be considered for any job. Then what do you do in as much your name form a resemblance with their name in the state or local government? For instance, Ondo indigene going for the local or state government origin of Ekiti, Oyo, Osun, Kwara and vis-a-vis. At the end of the day you don’t even know where you belong.
HIDING AT POST GRADUATES HALLS UNDER THE PRETENSE OF RUNNING PG PROGRAMME.
You see thousands of unemployed graduates obtaining PG forms on yearly bases just to stay away from the house and avoid the chronic street human questioners who behaves like a heaven sent progress monitor ,asking you on daily bases “how far about job issue” without any smallest input to ways of solving them or words of encouragement . The only thing you hear when you give them their expected answer is “eyaaa this country shaa and bad government”. You see people abandon their master’s programme immediately they are able to secure a job (sometimes due to distance to their new place of work).
GOING SPIRITUAL.
You see many job searchers consulting different spiritual houses for a miracle .Miracle houses ranging from churches different from their regular place of worship at times. (You should know the kind church i am talking about), visit to Different Imams and Alfas. Some even go back to their root no matter their present religious status and sometimes carrying out “river bath” and “sacrifices to T junctions”. Often times ,you see some using "special" powder ,cream , eyes lid, wet lips ,tooth paste and pen to interviews.
TRUSTING ONCE AGAIN WELL KNOWN USELESS RELATIVES/FRIENDS FOR JOB FAVOR:
Yes, we all know him that he will never help any family members even you yourself know this. Several times you had requested for one thing or the other that is within his/her disposal but she/he refused. But this time around you want to try your luck for the last time if you will be fortunate. Then, you go there for the last time and messed you up for the second time and probably for the last time, this time around telling you different stories about your self-unknown childhood and growing up.
BEGGING PEOPLE ON SOCIAL MEDIA TO COME TO YOUR AID
Sometimes you get to see some people soliciting for employment on social media, most especially Facebook. They pity, pity and pity your condition without any solution often times.
PAYING FOR JOBS:
Many job seekers has fallen victim of job scammers under the pretense of getting them job. We can’t actually blame the unemployed because several people had gotten job through this means at one time or the other. So, we want to try our luck too, and then we go borrow or beg our parent to borrow from cooperative society for these unemployed scammers feeding on innocent mates. This is a big risk that so many unemployed had taken at one point or the other.
TRYING TRAVELLING OUT OF THE COUNTRY:
Millions of unemployed youths are getting out of Nigeria on daily basis. Just name a country where you will not find Nigerians, even war turn countries like Syria, Libya, Pakistan, Sudan are host to Nigerians. Some will tell you they are their hunting for job or schooling. They left on the fact they were unemployed. Most left this country in most barbaric and pathetic way: through morocco, down to the deadly sea en route Italy. Tens of Africans most especially Nigerians lose their lives on daily bases. Most painful is the fact that some regret ever going down after getting to know that it’s not that rosy at the other side too. Many had to face deportation after so many years of illegal stay in the country, getting them back to square one. There was this fact too that there is hardly any prison in this world that you won’t find at least a Nigerian.
Trying out crime-:
It’s very sad to see and listen to the confessions of suspected criminals blaming unemployment even before the usual devil for their satanic acts. Unemployment has led people into drugs (the case of the 4 Nigerians executed in Indonesian came to mind), armed robbery, kidnapping (the recent arrested OXL nanny is still fresh in our minds), political thuggery, e.tc. However, to me unemployment it’s no excuse.
You can add yours …
There are some desperate acts we engage ourselves in the course of searching for job in Nigeria, some of these acts are very funny, and death defying in nature. The fact is, through these means some had gotten their dream jobs and achieved their goals while some, in the process met their untimely death and some spent little or the rest of their lives behind bars. But the truth of the matter is, some are very rare means.
MULTIPLE DATE OF BIRTHS- : if you are privileged to see where some people kept their different birth certificates with different dates on them you will think maybe there is always a certificate each time they talk to pastors that they are “born again”. Different birth certificates with different date of births.
REASON FOR THIS: after the hurdles of WAEC/NECO, then UTME, here comes the almighty POST UTME, after these ones, the real challenge faces you. Four years is no more four again. No thanks to ASSU, SSANIP, SSANU etc. strikes .At the end of NYSC you are 28 years old. Then you see job advert requesting for 25 five years old! What do you do? you quickly get one BC that says so. The following week another says 24! You rushed down to your costumer once again. Within a year you have gotten 5 BC. After many years you are not even sure of the real one and authentic birth certificate.. lol
POSSESSION OF MULTIPLE STATES OF ORIGINS AND LOCAL GOVERNMENT CERTIFICATES –
When you see a Yoruba guy holding Mubi North local government certificate of origin and looking further to see more than 15 local governments certificates of origin from different parts of the country with them, you wonder if they are multi related in family linage. That is why in some local government’s secretariat they will screen you to your family house ancestors and do a little language test before you can be giving local government attestation.
REASON FOR THIS: No thanks to high rate of unemployment in the country which has forced state governments to give job to only their indigenes first, irrespective of your qualification, experience , grade and competence. if you Dont present your local government attestation you are most likely not to be considered for any job. Then what do you do in as much your name form a resemblance with their name in the state or local government? For instance, Ondo indigene going for the local or state government origin of Ekiti, Oyo, Osun, Kwara and vis-a-vis. At the end of the day you don’t even know where you belong.
HIDING AT POST GRADUATES HALLS UNDER THE PRETENSE OF RUNNING PG PROGRAMME.
You see thousands of unemployed graduates obtaining PG forms on yearly bases just to stay away from the house and avoid the chronic street human questioners who behaves like a heaven sent progress monitor ,asking you on daily bases “how far about job issue” without any smallest input to ways of solving them or words of encouragement . The only thing you hear when you give them their expected answer is “eyaaa this country shaa and bad government”. You see people abandon their master’s programme immediately they are able to secure a job (sometimes due to distance to their new place of work).
GOING SPIRITUAL.
You see many job searchers consulting different spiritual houses for a miracle .Miracle houses ranging from churches different from their regular place of worship at times. (You should know the kind church i am talking about), visit to Different Imams and Alfas. Some even go back to their root no matter their present religious status and sometimes carrying out “river bath” and “sacrifices to T junctions”. Often times ,you see some using "special" powder ,cream , eyes lid, wet lips ,tooth paste and pen to interviews.
TRUSTING ONCE AGAIN WELL KNOWN USELESS RELATIVES/FRIENDS FOR JOB FAVOR:
Yes, we all know him that he will never help any family members even you yourself know this. Several times you had requested for one thing or the other that is within his/her disposal but she/he refused. But this time around you want to try your luck for the last time if you will be fortunate. Then, you go there for the last time and messed you up for the second time and probably for the last time, this time around telling you different stories about your self-unknown childhood and growing up.
BEGGING PEOPLE ON SOCIAL MEDIA TO COME TO YOUR AID
Sometimes you get to see some people soliciting for employment on social media, most especially Facebook. They pity, pity and pity your condition without any solution often times.
PAYING FOR JOBS:
Many job seekers has fallen victim of job scammers under the pretense of getting them job. We can’t actually blame the unemployed because several people had gotten job through this means at one time or the other. So, we want to try our luck too, and then we go borrow or beg our parent to borrow from cooperative society for these unemployed scammers feeding on innocent mates. This is a big risk that so many unemployed had taken at one point or the other.
TRYING TRAVELLING OUT OF THE COUNTRY:
Millions of unemployed youths are getting out of Nigeria on daily basis. Just name a country where you will not find Nigerians, even war turn countries like Syria, Libya, Pakistan, Sudan are host to Nigerians. Some will tell you they are their hunting for job or schooling. They left on the fact they were unemployed. Most left this country in most barbaric and pathetic way: through morocco, down to the deadly sea en route Italy. Tens of Africans most especially Nigerians lose their lives on daily bases. Most painful is the fact that some regret ever going down after getting to know that it’s not that rosy at the other side too. Many had to face deportation after so many years of illegal stay in the country, getting them back to square one. There was this fact too that there is hardly any prison in this world that you won’t find at least a Nigerian.
Trying out crime-:
It’s very sad to see and listen to the confessions of suspected criminals blaming unemployment even before the usual devil for their satanic acts. Unemployment has led people into drugs (the case of the 4 Nigerians executed in Indonesian came to mind), armed robbery, kidnapping (the recent arrested OXL nanny is still fresh in our minds), political thuggery, e.tc. However, to me unemployment it’s no excuse.
You can add yours …
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