Thursday, March 26, 2015

2 Relationship Pitfalls Older Unamrried Ladies May Not Tell Younger Ones

In my recent interactions I observed that most single ladies who are getting anxious about marriage due to age have one thing in common - Almost 70% of them were once in a relationship that wasted their time, blinded them to reasons, and later disappointed their expectations. This included:

1) Sugar Daddy Relationships: This is practically a No1. on the list. Most of today’s desperate single ladies were once involved in a relationship with a sugar-daddy who simply kept them for s*xual purposes while lavishing them with gifts, money, travels and lodging in expensive hotels. They got carried away by the eupohria. It’s even more shocking that despite the gifts and money most of the ladies received, some have nothing today to show for such relationships than regrets, anger and bruised emotions. You can even see the trend today on Nigerian blogs (including NL) as young ladies of 'easy virtue' brandish expensive gifts from their affluent sugar-daddies to justifying their ‘hustling’. But what many people don’t read is what happens to them later as they age. These are same ladies littered in churches later in life crying “Lord, why has thou forsaking me”, while others are enmeshed in various frustrations. 

A sugar daddy never loves a girl. Just face it! They enjoy a young, beautiful body they can experiment their s*xual fantasies on. They keep their own daughters safe under secured environments, but waste another young lady’s opportunities, sometime derailing her future. In the end, they return to their wives & kids, while the sugar-baby is left in emotional bruises and negative spiritual consequences.

2). The Immature Boys: Obviously, boys don’t marry, men do. Here I define a 'boy' as a male human not yet ready for the responsibility of marriage (he might be rich, grownup, even has a job). ‘Boy-friend’ is what you do when u're a teenager, experimenting with life, not as a adult. Once you hit social maturity and wants to settle down (except you are rising & maturing proportionately with ur boyfriend) hanging on to a mere 'boy' at the expense or real, potential suitors is a waste of your time. He might be cute, sings well, athletic, funny, has six-pack muscles, or may one day become an Engineer etc, but sista, after 25 a lady should get real. I don’t expect a smart lady at that age to wait for another 3-4yrs for a boy to ‘grow-up’.

Knowing a man who is a marriage material: 

- He is Single- Because married men are not available except in cultures/religions that permit polygamy 
-Emotionally matured – If he still fumes, gets into open fights, feats of jealousy, & possessively controlling, abeg apply ur brakes. He’s a time-bomb
-Has a stable means of livelihood- otherwise, how will he pay ur dowry & feed ur kids? smiley
-You know his close friends –They are either married or getting married, so he’s under peer influence. It’s irresponsible to date someone you don’t know his/her close circle of friends to determine if u fit in.
-Most time you are his only girlfriend- The more the competition, the less could be ur chances.
-He has asked you- Until a man pops that ‘M’ question, don’t predict his intention is marriage. He may like you as a person but there are other reasons you may not end up his wife (individual differences, religion, culture, s*xual incompatibility, family resistance, health issues)

Be smart. May God not allow anyone to waste your time this year!

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